We cannot stop people from messing up, even the people we care about.
We can write it down. Spell it out. Shout it until our lungs don't work, but people will still do what they want to even in situations where it so obviously going to be a mistake.
Even in those situations where we are sure of how things will pan out, there is nothing you nor I can do to change the mind of someone determined to make that mistake.
It's like watching a movie I already watched, and knowing what happens next, I shout, but it won't change a damn thing. Like a train wreck about to happen from a distance.
It's like being sent back in time to change the way bad events unfold, but then a bunch of other shit happens anyway, and the situation is still fucked up. That's what it's like to try and stop someone from messing up when you know they are about to mess up.
Everyone says people need to learn from their mistakes, and of course, that's true. Mistakes are the ultimate teacher, but some mistakes are costly. So I keep wondering if I am not using the right words to help them or if there is more I could say. There isn't.
But here is the thing about my own learning from others. At some point, I decided it was costly to learn only from my own mistakes. At some point, I became incredibly open to learning and avoiding those costly mistakes. But sadly, it took a lot of life's beatings to get me to that point.
I started learning from certain people's wins and mistakes even without their words. I could watch from a distance and still learn from the right people. I realize now that these people didn't need to tell me anything because I could see their actions.
We can rarely stop people from fucking up with just our words. We can only lead by example; we can only show them. I realize now, too, that they won't always be receptive; life has to do its thing.
M&Ms Weekly Newsletter
Every week I am helping others by sharing my learnings and being transparent about my entire journey.